Donkeys, Phone Calls, and Pen Pal Assumptions; or Stereotypes and Why They Suck

Hi everyone! When you read this, don't be offended. I'm not saying that you're a bad person or anything. We are all flawed and we are all biased, simply because that is the society that we were all born into. Being biased doesn't mean that you are an evil overlord-in-training. It just means you have more work to do. We all do. As they say, "when you assume, you make an a$$ out of u and me." A$$ being...(Me out loud: how do I keep this PG? *thinks* Aha!) an alternative word for "donkey" that also happens to mean your rear end. Like, ass-u-me. Get it? 

Let's say you get a call from a pen pal that you have never seen or written to yet. You have a really nice chat. You can't quite tell if they are male or female from their voice, but it's on the higher side. The assumption, even if it is unintentional, will be that this person is a straight white cisgender female. Why? Because our cultural norm is that most people are straight, cisgender, and white. You may be more likely to assume that the person is your ethnicity or the ethnicity of most of your community, because that is what you are most used to being around. Depending on your gender and the pitch of the voice, you may be more likely to assume that the person is either male or female, but most assumptions do not include the possibility of the person being non-binary. Reading it, it seems crazy. You aren't prejudiced! You don't make assumptions about people! But, as soon as you have an expectation that the person actually doesn't adhere to, you are more uncomfortable around them. After all, if you pour yourself a glass of milk in the dark and it turns out to be lemonade, it will seem weird and gross even if you normally like lemonade. It's all about expectations.

What does your "pen pal" look like? That is to say, what is your assumption about a person if you know nothing about them? No judging other peoples' "pen pals" - we all have our assumptions. If it helps, mine is straight, cisgender, female, and at least partially white. Likely 3/4 or more white. The rest is probably Asian, maybe Latinx. Comment yours!

The weirdest thing is that people make all kinds of assumptions based on the littlest things! Someone with neat handwriting is female; short haired people are male; people who wear makeup are either female, gay, or trans. The list goes on and on. These assumptions are based on cultural stereotypes. A stereotype is an assumption about a person based on how they look, act, speak, etc. For example, a blond girl who likes the color pink is immediately a popular, ditzy cheerleader. But what if she hates cheerleading? What if she gets straight A's and loves school? What if she's actually not that popular? People often dismiss the reality in favor of their stereotypes. But this hurts the clever blonde who hates cheerleading. This hurts the popular athlete who wears glasses. This hurts the Latinx with a successful, well-off family. This hurts everyone who is forced into boxed by these stereotypes, and that's a lot of people. So, I guess the moral of this post is that everyone is just a person. It doesn't matter what they look like or how they talk. You should just give everyone a chance to be themselves before you decide that he's smart and she's dumb and their parents are drug-dealers and their kids will be gay. Let them be them and appreciate that they are being themselves. 

And on that rather grave note, I'm signing off. Bye, and see you on Friday.
<3, Heather